Thirty-One:

The next morning, Brian burst into Spot's royal chamber. "Well, I did it," he said. "I found a Greek scroll in the royal archives about the Minotaur. I spent all night translating it."

"Ah, Human, you're in time," said Mimbleshaw. "You may listen as I brief Its Majesty Spot on the Minotaur."

"What?" said Brian. "But I stayed up all night... translated the scroll... from ancient Greek... taught myself a whole new language..."

"Yes, yes, Human," said Mimbleshaw. "That is very clever of you. Now stop your whimpering. We don't have all day.

"Submitted for your consideration," continued Mimbleshaw. "Thousands of years ago lived King Jay, of the island of Buchanan, in the Gatsbian Sea. The king held barbecues in honor of the Ocean, on whose favor the island depended. The Sky decided to play a trick and cast a spell to turn one of King Jay's cows pure white and to make it magic and powerful. The king's herdsmen told him that one of his cows had been blessed by the Ocean. They told him the Ocean had trusted him with the white cow for the next barbecue.

"King Jay, however, was struck by the cow's beauty. He named it Daisy. He asked his herdsmen to bring the cow to the palace. They refused out of fear of the Ocean's anger. King Jay also feared the Ocean. He asked his herdsmen to pardon him for his foolish demand.

"Nonetheless, King Jay neglected his kingdom, and his many wives, to sit and gaze at the perfect beauty that was Daisy. He devised a plan to trick the Ocean. He invited King Potasseus from the island of Bananaca to build him a maze to keep the beautiful cow. After the maze was finished, King Jay painted another cow white with which to fool the Ocean.

"Before King Jay could take the cow into the maze and escape forever, however, his herdsmen told him of yet another blessing. Outside of the city walls was found a giant cow monument. King Jay was so honored with this new blessing from the Ocean, he forgot to escape with Daisy. King Jay observed the Ocean went so far as to place the monument on wheels. His herdsmen could not refuse his order to wheel the cow into the city walls.

"That night, King Jay had gone to sleep with both the glory of the cow monument and the beautiful Daisy he loved so much. The next day his cow monument was found with doors underneath it open. More devastating than the delivery of anything incendiary or ballistic was the emptiness where the monument's heart would have been. For gone, also, was Daisy.

"What happened was that wily King Potasseus had built the cow monument to sneak back into the city and steal the blessed cow. He had stolen Daisy and sailed away with her to have many adventures. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

"The herdsman of Buchanan held the barbecue with the white-washed cow anyway, none-the-wiser. But so distraught was he over his lost Daisy, King Jay in his grief turned into a bull-headed man. He retreated into the complex and endless maze, which extends even to this very island. And from where he has stalked as he pleased ever since. The end."

"That isn't the story why there's a Minotaur," said Brian. "What is wrong with you?"

"If you want to suggest I distorted the truth to some hideously outrageous degree," said Mimbleshaw, "I suppose I can only agree. That is what you get for spending the night translating some ancient scroll you found. Nobody likes a smarty-pants show off."

"Monkey," said Brian. "Is everything in your world made of lies?"

"Listen, Human," said Mimbleshaw, "We are humble castle-dwellers. Castle-dwellers have as much freedom as we can make up our own rules. A maze-dweller like the Minotaur has as much freedom as they can plan around the rules for where they are. And will work relentlessly for the downfall of a king. No Manchego king lured to his maze has ever returned. That fear is why Tuffy fled in the first place. Also — call me monkey again, and you will only have yourself to blame if witches fight for your wishbone at a picnic."

As he had barged into the queen try-outs, the Minotaur burst into Spot's royal chamber. He left another package. In the package on this occasion was a card printed, "T minus 2," and a banana with a face drawn on it. The face had a beard.

"Human, we seem to be in luck this time," said Mimbleshaw. "He cares only to challenge you."