Twenty-Five:

Eliza the witch escorted Spot, Brian, and Mimbleshaw underneath the castle to the coupon-sorting floor. The air swarmed with fairies carrying baskets of coupons and robotic arms carrying bundles.

"Your Majesty," said Mimbleshaw. "As you can see, the coupons are collected in absorbent white cloth and sent to their vendors to be redeemed." Mimbleshaw shook a bundle and it rattled. "This is worth one U.S. dime."

"How fascinating," said Spot. "So many of the robotic arms with infant pacifiers."

"Why, pacifiers are the better to pick up and sort coupons with," said Sweaty Pete.

"And baby-diapers for the coupon bundles?" said Spot.

"Why, diapers are the better to bundle coupons with," said Ellie.

"And the rattles?" said Brian.

"Why, rattles are the better to bundle coupons with," said Lulu Belle.

"Mister le Brian?" said Sweaty Pete. "You might not want to stand so close to them machines."

"Don't stand so close to your robotic pacifier-fingers?" said Brian. "If you're afraid they'll break, maybe you should have made them sturdi — hey..."

Paci-fingers lifted Brian, shook him out of his clothes, and dropped him into a diaper.

"I am not a baby."

"The coupon-sorting machines can change and pacify the many babies," said Spot. "It is very suspicious, no?"

"This is some kind of... baby processing plant," said Brian. "To feed babies to witches."

"I wish," said Eliza. "I ain't had baby in over a hundred years."

"With all due respect, Your Majesty," said Sweaty Pete. "We coupon fairies like babies. We don't have to give back no Bannister baby. He belongs to us now and Waxy Dave is happy in his place."

"That is ridiculous," said Mimbleshaw. "Coupon fairies have to be given a baby's name to take it. I gave the fairies no such name. Did you give them the baby's name, Your Majesty?"

"The name of Monsieur le Brian, the strange banana-baby?" said Spot. "The wild knock-knock jokes cannot drag from me the name of Monsieur le Brian. 'Knock, knock.' 'Who is at the door?' 'Not Monsieur le Brian, so do not ask.'"

"You see?" said Mimbleshaw. "And Eliza?"

"I told you I haven't eaten baby in a century," said Eliza. "And when I did, I never asked them for no names."

"Human," said Mimbleshaw.

"Coupon fairies are allowed to steal and keep a baby if someone tells them the baby's name?" said Brian.

"...oh, for Charles' sake," said Mimbleshaw.

"Where did you get a messed-up rule like that from?" said Brian.

"I'm sure that's a good question for a curious young fellow like yourself," said Sweaty Pete. "But we just don't ask all that many questions about the way things are. We like the way things are."